First, Accept Your Body

It has been speaking to me the last couple of days that I really need to think about how I think about my body.  When I started my weight loss, I was happy with my body.  I just wanted to be healthy and not be held back by anything.  Not that my weight was holding me back from being happy but sometimes it would throw it's ugly truth into my face at times...trying to buckle on the airplane and a stewardess asking if I need an extension.  Anyway, I realize that I have been putting my body down as a gained back all of my weight.  Every time a pound was gained I got depressed and ate some junk for comfort.  I think I am beginning to realize that I have been thinking poorly of my body instead of just excepting it and moving on. Of course there is a benefit of being fit and skinnier but that's just the added bonus.  So on this note...here's to loving my body and learning to accept me for me.  This is what God gave me to work with and He loves me either way.  He just wants me to be happy.  I have to learn to motivate myself.

    I am excited for Thanksgiving coming up.  I am going to love my body and only put healthy stuff in it.  Step 1.

    This last 24 hours have been torture since I seemed to have caught a stomach bug.  It's finally gone and I have time to get about 3 hours of sleep before I have to be at work at 2am.  On a better note, I am getting hired to work in the day care at school...the one where us students learn to be teachers and I am only one year into the program.  

  I am starting of thinking a small blog with tips for working/raising children and also include many activities that are appropriate for certain ages of children.  I'll think a little more on it but if people have opinions, please leave a comment.

**that posture I have on my wall to remind me to love my body and only make it better.

weigh in

It's been 2 weeks since I weighed in so this morning I decided to go for it.  I was already having a hard time getting out of bed and thinking this is gonna be a down day for me so I hopped on the scale.  I am down 1 lb since my last at 303.4  That's progress.  Last night I was laying bed watching a movie and I wanted so bad to go get some fast food....SO BAD.  But I didn't and talked myself out of why I shouldn't do it.  So that was a victory for me.

Pumpkin LIfe

I currently have pumpkin the oven and pumpkin seeds dehydrating pumpkin seeds.  I have been wanting to make pumpkin muffins for a while and so I am going to do it with real pumpkin.  I found this blog on facebook...https://www.facebook.com/arawlifestyle?ref=ts&fref=ts  I tried to look on her website but it wouldn't go on it.  Anyway, she started eating raw about 1.5 years ago and she is in school.  She does a lot of video blogs.  Anyway, I wanted to share me doing something in the right direction.

 I bought my pomegranate and thyroid pills again.  I have been trying to drink more green drinks...I am not too sure about adding spinach.  My blender just doesn't puree it like I like it and I hate drinking solids.  I have been taking my vitamins diligently the last few days.  Today I brought my stationary bike into the living room.  We never use the tv so I figured I could store it in front of the tv when I am not using it.  When it's out of sight, it's out of mind.  So that today.  My weight was at 304.4 this morning.  I HATE THAT!

Biking and Cookies

I have had so much happen these past two days that I wanna blog about so let me get started.

To begin with...I have been visiting a lot of fast food restaurants this week..

I am so not happy about that.  But yesterday I got a cranberry, apple, chicken salad from Burger King.  It was surprisingly good and I would go for that again if I needed something quick or felt lazy.  It was about $5.50.  Not too bad.  I got it with an advocado/ranch dressing.  Of course I am not sure how many calories is involved in this Salad.  I am sure the dressing is the only bad thing.  It only had lettuce, apples, bleu cheese, and grilled chicken.  It seemed real enough.

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After that, I hopped onto my stationary bike while watching an episode of tv on my laptop.

 My legs were going crazy.  I am going to work up their stamina again.  I realized that in order for me to use the ifit Live thing then I have to pay $99 a year.  Woah, maybe when I get a better job or am done school... For we will use the interval and speed settings. to get these legs into shape.

I started a squat thing with a friend I know.
Here is the LINK to it.  100 Prisoner Squat Challenge
We are just ending Day 3.  Anybody else wanna jump on the band wagon?

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You might be wondering about this cooking thing you see here.  I have been wanting to make cookies for about 2 weeks now but I had no eggs, and still don't.  I have used milled flax seed for eggs before and thought I could do that.  But I kept putting it off.  Then on facebook tonight I see another young girl is making cookies and I decide it is time... So I go searching for egg less cookies.  It's hard to find one with all the plain ingredients that I have in my house. So I decided; fine, I will just substitute with the flax.  The first recipe I find is a Honey Walnut Cookie Recipe.  And turns out it doesn't need eggs or milk. + YAY!  So I proceed to substitute regular flour with buckwheat flour and brown sugar with coconut sugar. And this is what I made!  I had my room mate taste them.  I told her, "Forget about what you think cookies taste like."  And she did and she like them.  I thought of one other thing I would add to these cookies to make them even better.......BANANAS!!

Here's my edited recipe:

Honey Walnut Cookies2/3 cup buckwheat flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 cup cocnut sugar
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil (I think I would change this to safflower oil)
1/3 cup honey
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/3 cup chopped walnuts

Preheat the oven to 350F and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
In a large bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt and sugar.
In a small bowl, whisk together oil, honey and vanilla extract. Pour into flour mixture and stir until almost combined. Add the walnuts and stir until walnuts are well distributed in the cookie dough.
Shape into 12 rounded balls (approx 1-inch balls) and place onto prepared baking sheet. It is easiest to shape this dough with your hands or with a small scoop.
Bake for 10 minutes, until cookies are lightly browned around the edges.
Cool on baking sheet for 2-3 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.

++I only managed about 9 cookies...if you add bananas, make sure to add more flour too!

The Bike Finally Arrived

 My doorbell rang today and this is what I got!

I opened the box and this is what I find...big bummer.

At first I was gonna return it...then realized that is had nothing to do with the performance of the bike and decided to put it together anyway.

So here it is all put together and in my "gym".

I realized that I want to put some sort of cloth or curtain on the wooden work bench.  That stuff under there is organized but it looks horrible.  I guess that will be my next project.

I am going to work on Saturday morning at 7am.  And I hate weighing that early.  And I didn't weigh last Saturday, so I weighed yesterday; Wednesday.  I was down .8lbs!  So I hit the 296.6 mark.  Hopefully it will stay that way. I have been having a hard time not eating junk the last few days.

Tuesday Workout

I noticed I had a new episode in my que on HULU -> so I headed to the garage to do my 30 minute workout that (according to mapmyfitness) I am supposed to do today.  This is one of the reasons why I really love my IPhone!

I started with the stepper for a while, until my thighs were feeling it...then I kept going.

Then I used the weights for a bit and lunged from side to side with them.  By then sweat beads were dripping down my face.  I have missed this feeling so much.  You can even see one drop on the right side of my face!

I also added my new Weight Loss Stones to the left side of my blog.  There eight in there right now.  I am sticking to only weighing myself on the weekends.  Those seem to be the best days.  And Friday is now my cheat day.

Successful Saturday

Weighing myself this morning was a great feeling.  I actually was kind of worried and didn't know if I wanted to.  But I was surfing healthy websites and tips etc and decided I was just going to do it.  I am down 3.8 lbs from my last weigh in...I can't remember when that was.  But I am currently at 297.4lbs.  What you see next is what I had for breakfast.  Cereal with flax oil, fried ham wrapped in cheese, and of course my vitamins.  I am missing some essential vitamins from my cupboard but they are expensive so I have to wait for that.

I am trying to change the look of my blog...but for some reason I can't take off the picture that is currently on it...Can someone help me?
  For lunch I made a lunch meat sandwich with ham, cheese, and spinach.  Yumm.
   Today is an active rest day for me...so I cleaned the kitchen!  For dinner I went to a friends and ate a bunch of salad, and cooked veggies, and garbanzo beans.  Then we went on a short walk to pick black berries and we went back and had ice cream with the berries and some brownies she had made.  They are the same gluten free ones I buy at Fred Meyer.
  I was reading through my first posts on this blog and realized I mostly wrote about what I workout with but not so much my eating.  So I am going to try and post more on that.  OK, gonna go.

A Green Drink

Today I made healthy eating choices.
For breakfast I had, some strawberries, a Zing Chocolate Peanut Butter Bar, and a non-fat Greek Yogurt.
Then for snack or lunch (since my hours are so messed up right now) I had an apple and I wanted another one so bad that I ate it too.  I also had a Zing Chocolate Coconut bar.  That one was really good and I plan on getting the rest at work tomorrow.

Now, an hour later, I decided to make a green drink.
some strawberries, with spinach and orange juice....I wish I had a vitamix. The spinach is so thick.

A new Addition

No weighing today.  I never weigh when I am working these crazy early morning shifts.  I drank tons of water yesterday.
 I went through my blog to when I first started this diet to see how I was so successful.  Pretty much I ate mostly raw food and worked out almost everyday.  I didn't really write about what I was eating though.  I wish I had.  I just got off work (it's 12:05pm).  I stopped by Panda Express and got yummy food.  I promise to workout today.
I am about to have an addition to my garage...

I have decided it is time to quit paying $26 a month at the gym and put it to better use.  So I got this one and can spend my $26 a month on this.  I am hoping it comes in a week or so.  And I hope it's a good one.

YAY!  This is the display

I needed to give myself more inspiration and make this more fun than a duty.  So I made this picture for my wall out of a frame from a broken mirror.

It is pictures of things I am looking forward to when I successfully get down to 180lbs and stay there.  A lot of times I see girls or women walking in the store and become envious of them because they have the body and shape that I want.  But when I am home, I don't see that and I lose my inspiration.  So I am going to change that.  And I want to start hiking again.  The person I had for my hiking buddy is now 6 months pregnant, so that may not be happening.  I am ok doing it on my own though.  It's just more fun when you have someone to encourage you along.

Utilizing the Garage

I have been working 2 am - 10:30 am this week and half of last week.  I remembered that I was working out and losing a lot of weight was when I was working this same shift. About a week ago I changed my garage around me made myself a workout place for the home.

So anyway, I have been fighting with myself.  I know I need to workout and eat better.  But I just wanna chill before going to bed.  And that mostly means playing a game or watching a movie.  But I decided to put two and two together.  And that's what you see in the next picture.  I set up the stepper by the sideboard and put the computer there.  I didn't do it for very long...but I still proud of myself because I actually did it.  I did it twice.  Ok, it wasn't for very long.  But it was better than I have been doing.  Small Steps.

Anyway, I am gonna start the easy way.  When I got a tired, I stopped.  I did push myself a little bit.  But, I have to build up my muscle mass again.

28 years and 2 days

I have been alive for 28 years and 2 days.  In all that time I have been growing and learning.
For some reason, when it comes to being a fit chick, I run into problems.
My main problem has been money.  I am trying to budget my money and that doesn't leave me with much choice on eating healthy because I have to take what I can get/afford.
I haven't once worked out in the last two days and on yesterday morning the scale said 298.  WAAAHHH!
I don't wanna be there...
my printer hasn't been working lately so I am going to try and reboot/reinstall it.
 I have been wanting to put up motivating pictures all over my room to help me get done what I want.  I have decided to turn my bedroom into a motivation den.
I want to put up my $5000 sign, which is a personal motivation.
Then I want to put up decent pictures of girls who I see has fit---not skinny.
Then put encouraging sayings up.
Even motivating accomplishments I have done so far even though I fell back on it.  I want to be blogging more so that I can remind myself everyday what I am living for = to be healthy.  But it's time to get to bed and get some sleep before work tomorrow.
MAJOR ACCOMPLISHMENT TODAY = I washed my car...and my room mates.  I even broke a little sweat.

A New Turning Point

Right now I am ending the day of my 28th birthday. I have not been on track with losing weight this last year. So I figured, "why can't this be my turning point?" and so it will be. I am going to get on track. I will finally lose this weight. I looked in the mirror today and hated what I saw. I hate being fat and really want to go back to being fit and in shape. Who's with me?
I spent my whole day at the beach. It was great. Here is a picture.

Keep Up the Hard Work!

That heading is from Dr. Steve.  He sells this product.

I have been taking it for 2 days now and I feel great.  It helps with a couple of hormones that hinder your weight loss.  It helps regulate cortisol from stress, the fat burning hormone adiponectin, the hunger hormone ghrelin, and helps regulate your blood sugar.  It has been serving me wonders.  Every couple of days he sends encouraging emails to give you some information about continuing the journey.  I can already tell a huge difference.  I don't have those munchie cravings that plague me at 10pm.  And I feel great.  So here's to my luck with this journey.

I have loved getting more exercise and choosing foods I love.  I decided to buy a bunch of salad bar food and I did.  So everyday I have been having a yummy salad with peas and beets and cheese and eggs and lettuce and spinach and mushrooms and cauliflower and broccoli etc.  I have been sure to have protein in every meal and I know that helps my not being so hungry all the time.  All right, good-night.  And to everyone out there on this journey with me - "KEEP UP THE HARD WORK!"

The End & The Beginning

After a weekend like what I had, I knew that the HCG diet was not for me.  I had gone down 172 but then after the weekend I was at 178!!!!!  Crazy!  So I decided to stop taking the drops.  I have been dieing to get some exercise into my routine again so I decided to do just that.

Last night I was craving a salad from Izzy's.  They have a great salad bar.  The down side is they also have a pizza bar and other food bar.  So I needed a friend to go with me.  So I posted on facebook and found a friend who had just come back from a 6 day flying trip (she is a flight attendant) and she was hungry and glad to join me.  So we headed on over.  There are two of their pizzas I like...the veggie one! and the artichoke one!  So yeah, I decided to have 1 each of that along with a huge plate of salad.  So I ate a huge plate of salad first and went and got the two pieces of pizza and decided to fill the extra space with some more of the salad.  They have premixed lettuce sometimes and I wanted to try the combinations.  So after that, I decided I needed more pizza so I got two more veggie slices because the artichoke was all gone.  And then I decided to skim the dessert buffet and walked away for 4 things.  YIKES!  Then they had just put out fresh artichoke (and that is hard to come by because it disappears so fast.  So I went and grabbed three slices.  Mind you, these are small pieces.  Three of them equal one slice from Pizza hut or where ever.  

But anyway, I came home and I had made a complete mind set to quit the HCG and that's when I decided I was going on a walk.  It was about 8:15pm and the sun was going down.  So I just decided to make my way around the neighborhood.  And I tried to walk vigorously.  It was exhilarating.  And now this morning I sat out on the front porch with my tea.

  On the HCG you don't eat breakfast and I didn't really have breakfast food so I decided to make my home made strawberry ice cream.  Not sure if I posted it before but it's a handful of strawberries and a 1/2 cup water and about on tablespoon of and artificial sweetener.  I used a truvia packet.  YUM YUM.  Well I after eating that a browsing some weight loss websites I was a bit cold.  I remembered I have a back patio that is in the sun in the morning.  So I transferred my Ceylon tea to the back and here I sit. It's hard to take a picture of myself so I took a reflection picture through my laptop. HAA  BY the way, you can see I am in need of a table or something to set up my work station outside.  If anyone has one (even if it's run down) can you let me know?  I could really use one.  I would love to do my homework outside on these sunny days.

I just noticed my reflection in the mirror and I realized I already got a bit of a tan.  So I had to run in and put SPF 15 on so I don't burn.  Anyway, now I hear my homework calling me so I better get to it.

Looking Back and Just Updating

LOOKING BACK

Hello Folks.  I took the second picture a long time ago and have been wanting to share it on here.  The picture on the left is the day I bought this sweatshirt.  Now it is so big on my that I had to show my progress.  Even though my weight loss journey started at the beginning of 2011, this shows a difference and I love it when I am looking at my old pictures and notice how big I really was and to what I have done now.  On the day, I am almost 30lbs heavier than the picture on the right.  I really hate that and I am going to go back there and even lower.  Here is another picture...I purposefully took the 2011 pictures to show the difference.

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HCG Diet Update

Today is day 22 and I have only lost 4 pounds.  And that is not even the pounds I gained during my loading days for this.  So that puts me at 275.  Gosh I hate that number.  I hoped to never get up there again.  I have hit as low as 147!  How did I manage to gain all this weight back?  Of course I think it's because I didn't work out.  After July 2011, I sort of lost my momentum and motivation to lose weight.  I really want that desire back.  I have been trying to eat healthy but different circumstances arise all the time.  Here is some recipes I have eaten while on the HCG.

The one on the top had tilapia and a cold cucumber salad with cilantro and it was gross.  The picture on the bottom is a salad I decided to whip with some extra veggies I had in the fridge.  There is cod with this recipe.  It was pretty good but it could have used more spices.  The strawberry and cinnamon mix was delicious as well.  This last picture is some steamed/mustard cabbage and shrimp with melba toast.  Yum, Yum.

Up all night

I just got off an 8 hour unexpected grave yard shift. Before going to work I chowed down on two black bean burgers and popcorn. I thought I needed more energy since I was gonna be up all night with no sleep. Big mistake? I decided to weigh when I got home. I was up 4.4lbs from yesterday morning! Ouch. And yesterday morning I was up .4 from the day before. I gotta be more controlling of myself. Off I go to sleep now.
I wanted to share to absolutely delicious meal I made yesterday!

Day 4- good day

Today was good. Hopefully I am down 2 lbs tomorrow. I was down 1.6 this morning. I stayed strong at school and munched on my gum instead of helping myself to the bending machine. I ran out of peanut clusters and was knowing I was gonna eat everything in sight so I headed to the store and got more. I ended my day with watching "Soul Surfer". It was a pretty good movie. Now I need to get some sleep so I can wake up tomorrow and do my school work.

Day 3 - Very Rocky Day

Hello.
  So pretty much this day started very well.
and it ended kind of rocky.
I had tilapia with my lettuce, onion, and apple salad.
Then I went to a good-bye party, not thinking I was going to partake in the goodies.
   And then I saw something liked and I ate two.
Then they brought out a salad and some wraps...as well as artichokes.
   And I partook of them all, until I was stuffed.  I even had a some coconut bars that were to die for.
This wasn't just a little of stuff, no it kept eating and eating.  Until I knew I HAD TO LEAVE!!
  So I said my sad good-bye and home I came.  I decided that I could just skip dinner now, since it was 5pm anyway.
  So I did.  It's 11:15 and I am actually starting to get hungry.
So off to the kitchen I went to eat a yogurt and an apple.  Yogurts are not on my diet but I have about 6 left so I must take care of that.
Yesterday was a better day.  I worked all day and I had my food with me so I didn't cheat while at work.  Then in the evening I was hungry so I ate yogurt and crab.
Yesterday morning I was down 1.6lb!!!
And this morning I was down 2lbs.  I am still not down to my pre-loading weight but I am going to be there tomorrow morning. (Fingers crossed)
  I am still getting used to taking drops 3 times a day at set times.  I have to wake myself up at 7am to take them.  Good thing I don't have to wait 10 minutes like with with the other stuff.  I forgot this morning and took my first dose about 1pm.
I plan on using this bottle until it's all gone.  And then it will be summer and I can work out!!  YAY!
  So off I go to bed I go.

Day 1 - Rough Start

So this ends my day one.  Things went pretty well.  This is a new formula so I am not sure how the carob clusters will react to the HCG drops.  I ate my regular food today but again, in the evening I got the munchies and ate some crab that was not in my calorie intake.  We'll see how it goes.  I feel pretty full right now.  I was told to up 1 more drop if I get hungry so I am thinking I will do 6 drops tomorrow since I have to be at work all day.  Hopefully the scale will be nice to me.
This was my lunch today.

Green leaf lettuce with apples and onions.  Then I added the shrimp myself.  It was yummy and I have more.  So I will be taking that with me tomorrow as well as my tilapia with beets.  It's so yummy.  I will try to be more up to date on blogging this round.  I am trying to lose about 20 lbs in 3 weeks.  Who knows what will happen.  I was up to 279 this morning.  So that means I gained 4lbs on my loading days.  OUCH!  It's been over a year since I saw that number.
I am going home for 2 weeks in July and we are going to Six Flags then.  I want to be much skinnier so I can fit into the roller coasters when it comes time.  It's not so easy with my wide hips.  Plus it will be nice to not be the fat person someone has to sit next to on the plane.

Ending loading day 2

Tomorrow (Friday) I start my clean and healthy eating. That also means losing weight. Yay!
I was hoping to not eat more meat today but it was more practical and I ended up getting Sonic for lunch and Burger King for dinner. As well as finishing up the fried chicken from yesterday. I just had to get my large share of calories and it seemed to be the best solution since going to a buffet was really hurting my self esteem.
It's weird but I am so conscious now of when I get junk food. I always think about the people judging me as I go back for seconds and thirds and fourths. I am happy to know that my need to eat/binge isn't so strong that I don't care what I eat. I always go through the drive thru and I still feel awkward.
But those days are behind me. I stayed home all day mostly sitting on my bed. I had planned on catching up on all my tv shows all day, which I did, but also spent hours talking with my family on FaceTime. That is one of my favorite things about an iPhone. First my niece and sister who lives in Indiana and then after a short time called my mom and ended up talking to three of my sisters and two nieces. It was awesome that they were there. No matter how life goes family can always make it better. Sometimes I forget that. I should and will be more in contact with them. It is so much better with face time.
Now my stomach is hurting and I am sort of breaking out in sweat. I can't wait to detox from all this food. I will feel like a human being again. Good night. I am dreading the weigh in tomorrow.

I Remembered Why I Became A Vegetarian

8:14am

Wow, getting to sleep last night was horrible.  On top of eating tons of fried chicken I had drank about 2.5 16oz glasses of water right before bed.  And my stomach was going crazy.  I knew I wasn't going to throw up but I sure felt like it.  I hate this feeling.  And my body seemed to break out in sweats.  I was really uncomfortable.

  So I figured if today was going to go like yesterday I better take a day to myself.  I figured I was going to be miserable and exhausted.  I have to spend time with about 15-20 children at my school for my practicum experience.  So I decided to make up my hours and called in sick.  This is definitely the more practical thing to do.
  So today I will fight to stay sane and take a nap because I can when the need arises and I am sure it will.  I got two snickers from a vending machine last night and so I have to eat them some time during the day.  The book for the diet says to graze all day instead of eating three large meals.  So I will focus on that more.  Though I may go to Izzy's for dinner.  I am going to drop the meat I have been eating.  I ate so much yesterday.  I will only eat what I have left of the fried chicken.  Thanks to my room mate who ate some last night I don't have much left.  But I do have the mashed potatoes and cole slaw.  I also have a weird craving for an icecream shake.  I hear the Red Robin one is about 1200 calories so that would help with trying to consume all my 5000 calories.  So now I will do what ever I want.  I'll catch you up more later in the day.

More HCG

Hello people. Lots has changed since I last posted. You may be wondering about the title but let me talk about a couple days before that. I got back into making my chocolate/coconut/ banana shake. I did it two mornings and saw my stomach going back down. I also made grits that I have had for a while and wanted to use up. That picture came to a total of 680 calories!

I found this picture on a website.

It makes me so mad!!!!  1. a girl would not be smiling if she was running...2. i hate the bra the outfits.  Who goes running in just that?  It's not very modest either.  I just hate the whole model thing going on there.

I ordered this bracelet in the mail the other day.  YAY!!  Another self-motivation tool.

I'm loving it and I wear it every day.

     So yeah, like I said.  They stopped making the HCG with hormones so I decided to go back old school.  Then I was at a friends house and mentioned it.  She whips out this blue bottle and says she got this HCG from her doctor and it was like $400.  She couldn't use it because of her work she lost so much weight so fast and needed for energy.  So she just gave it to me.  OK, I think.  It would be good to lose more weight.  I decided yesterday to start this morning.  I wanna lose some more weight before Spring Conference anyway.  

With this HCG stuff you have to eat 5000 calories on the two loading days.  This was my breakfast.  This is not including the eggmuffin I got from McDonalds.  I wasn't able to eat these hashbrowns and curly fries.  They went to waste.

Well, when I was done eating this my energy depleted itself.  I slept until about 1pm with crazy dreams of someone walking around the house.  Could have something to do with my window being cracked open and my door was open, and my heart was racing and pumping hard.

      Yeah, the heart thing is really weird.  It was going nutso.  Since becoming a vegetarian, when I have cheated and eaten some meat, it has never been this much at once.  I had a sausage patty, ham, and corned pastrami.  I think they may have made my heart do what it was doing.  It was pumping so hard and I think it took all of my body's energy to do it.  Gosh, but it's the only way to get all my fat and calorie intake.  So yeah, My breathing was really weird too.  Short and fast but not like I had just gone running.  I remember when I was 16 someone said something about me breathing short breaths when I sleep.  Maybe the meat had something to do with it.

So then I got up for lunch and felt not so full enough to go eat lunch which I had planned on a chinese buffet that I had been craving for a couple of days now.  BIG bummer was that I was not really hungry.  I can't even enjoy my binging on these days.  It kind of grosses me out.  But I went.

     The minute I walked out the door and shut it I realized that I locked myself out of the house with the keys hanging on the hook right inside the door.  HUGE moment of panic!!!!!  I went over the landlord's side of the house and knocked but there was no answer.  OH NO!!!  Her car was there and I was pretty sure she was home.  I even tried calling her but no answer.  She is 9 months pregnant so I hate bothering her, thinking she might be taking a nap.  So I wondered around the house trying every way to get inside my part of duplex.  We are so good about locking everything so I wasn't successful.  I even texted my roommate wondering if there was any way she could rescue me.  And I thought I could text the former room mates to come bring me a key they still had.  Then I get a text from the landlord saying that she had just gotten out of the shower and she would be right over with a key.  YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Of course now I felt real stupid.  Because a week ago I lost our mailbox keys too and wondered if they had spare ones, but sadly I had to order more.  The reason I crossed out my panic moments was because there really was no reason for concern.

After stuffing my face as much as I could have I came home and again tried to work on homework but my brain and body were so tired.  I even tried to take some of my maximum velocity pills to boast my energy.  It didn't really work.  I wanted to get up and do things but my body wouldn't let me.  So I slept another hour until my class.  I put on sweat pants and a t-shirt which I hardly ever wear anymore.  I went to class with barely any energy.  I was so thirsty by that time.  I was exhausted the whole class.  It's supposed to be a 4 hour class but it ended an hour early.  So home I came and picked up KFC.

  While catching up on some tv shows I ate 4 drumsticks, 3 thighs, cup of mashed potatoes, and 1/2 cup of coleslaw.  Then I proceeded to eat half the cake , and 1 biscuit.  My stomach was like uh-oh.  I can't believe I was able to down that much.  But I did.  So now I am going sleep.  I have to be with the kids the first 4.5 hours in the morning.  I have to find some way to sneak a candy bar and snacks into the morning for my fat eating.  I am thinking to get up early enough to grab some McDonalds again before having to go there.

So that ends loading Day 1.  The Hardest Day of My Life.  Maybe not but is sure feels like it.

No more HCG

  My bottle ran out this morning and I was contemplating whether I wanted to lose keep doing HCG or if I wanted to go back to the old fashioned way.  I miss working out and going on walks and seeing my body get toned a little.  But I decided "If you want to learn to keep going then you have to finish what you start."  So I headed to the store to get some.  When I got there, they were all out.  Come to find out...they recalled all the HCG with the hormone in it.  NO MORE HCG. 

  Guess that answered my question.  But this has taught me about portion control and not eating too much.  I am more content to just eat a little and save the rest for later.

Round 2 - beware *many food pictures*

Hey guys,
  I am back from Vacation.  If anyone isn't on my facebook, here are some pictures.

 First Day on the Beach.

 Sunset on the beach

 Walking around the famous The Del Coronado Hotel.  I am in love with this island.

 Walking on a Pier in La Jolla.

 Bought a necklace.

 The San Diego Zoo.  I  found a friend wolf.

 Fancy night out we got all dressed up.

My tank top I got from the zoo.  I love it. lol!

   I managed to gain 6 pounds over vacation.  I couldn't help that there was so much food around.  The first day we headed to a very nice brunch place that had tons of good food I wanted to try.

I even had champagne for the first time at that restaurant.  Then, with good intentions I really tried to order healthy stuff at each meal but turns out that it's harder to do portion control than I thought.  So that was my most difficult problem that I will be working on.

 Eating at a mexican restaurant.  I got vegetarian enchiladas.

Eating at a Thai place on Coronado.  I got tofu lettuce wraps.

 Eating eggplant lasagne at Sea World.

 In old Town we ate at a mexican place but can't remember what I ate.

 At our fancy restaurant the first course was Artichoke Salad.

 Then Crab and turnip yummy stuff.

For dessert was a chocolate decadence yummy thing.  I barely remembered to take a picture before I ate it.
Of course I ate more than that on my vacation.  Those were the ones I documented.  Anyway, I have already taken my drops today and I need to go to the store to buy some food.  There isn't much here.  So off I go.