My Day in a Nutshell

Seriously, I got up, saw it was snowing...checked phone and saw I had a 2 hour delay.
Went back to sleep for an hour.  Forced myself out of bed instead of making an excuse for not wanting to drive in the snow.  Went to class and was happy I did because the teacher was happy so many people actually showed up.
Rushed over to the teen parent center and spent a little over 3 hours there.
Came home, ate a snack of some yummy cauliflower "mac n cheese" I made yesterday.
Worked out on the treadmill for 40 minutes while watching "Green Lantern".
Bathed and ate dinner of more cauliflower and some left-over salmon.
Went to a friends out to study cause the people I am living with were having extra over with only the dad being home.  I was thinking it might get kind of crazy and loud.
I didn't really do as much studying as I should have there.  I kept getting distracted by Pinterest.
Now I should be heading to sleep but atleast I am in my bed.  I might watch an episode of something first but I took 2 melatonin to make me real sleepy.  If I don't take it then I am up til 2am because I am not strong enough to stop being so stressed out and go to sleep.  I just keep watching episode after episode.  I have no self-control but I am striving to change that.

"Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those tings which are behind and reaching toward to those things are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." -Phil 3:13-14

My Addiction To Food

I got up about 10 this morning...and remembered to weigh myself.  BiG MISTAKE?  Not sure but I didn't like what the scale said.  264.4lbs  That's exactly what it said yesterday and I thought it might be playing a joke on me.

So then I look around my room and see the huge mess.  I need to do two loads of laundry.  And I got an email from hulu saying that I have two new episodes to watch on the 9 shows I like to watch.  It takes time to stay up-to-date on all my shows.

Anyway, I sit down on my computer and find myself on facebook.  And some encouraging blogs.  I sift around and find motivating things to read.  Then I decide to check out this blog Sherah had mentioned to me.  I have only been sifting through it.  This blog is about a woman who lost 135lbs.  Very cool.  I want to will get there some day.  I read her page... Peace with Food  It's very encouraging and eye opening.

 At the beginning of 2011 I lost 50lbs in 6 months.  But then it all stopped.  I wasn't motivated anymore.  And through the last 7 months I have been struggling with the why.  The more days go by I realize I am addicted to food.  But how can I go cold turkey?  I can't.  So unlike an alcoholic I cannot just stay away from the food I am addicted to.  I have to learn how to control it.  I know I like to eat food because it tastes good but I also like the feeling it gives me.  I have been using it to help me hide from my feelings.

She mentioned some books she has read that has helped her and I asked her which one she thinks would be best for me.  Hopefully she responds soon.  I would like to get help therapy to deal with these feelings.  I can't go to alcohol anonymous.  Like I mentioned you can't go cold turkey on food.

SO anyway, I wanted to jot these things down while they are still in my head.  I am thinking to maybe start my day reading encouraging blogs so that I can keep that mindset all day to eat clean and workout.

I have a huge problem today...I am going to a birthday party and of course I am gonna want some of the food.  Maybe I will try to make some sort of sweet drink and take it with me....AAAHHHH!

Feeling Good About Today

Hello People!
I am so liking my Kindle right now.  I get to look at my Fitness Magazine digitally now. LOVE!!  I am currently looking at fat burning foods that I can make for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

 Today I had a good day.  I got up, grabbed a Soy Joy bar, and put some greek yogurt in a plastic container and hopped in the car to get to class.  I ate those while in class.  After I class I came home, ate two eggs with cheese while making a green drink, and also got my lunch together.  A veggie ham, alfalfa sprouts, and cheddar cheese sandwich was packed.  As well as an apple and some shrimp and pesto sauce for dinner.  I haven't made a green drink in so long.  They just have been too boring.  So I added Agave to this one of Strawberries, blueberries, and spinach.  It was yummy.  I drank that whole thing today.  I am almost out of Agave so I need to get some more soon.  Then I headed off to work for 8 hours.  I hate it.  I don't like going there even though it's only 2 days a week.
But home I came.  I am really trying to work on listening to my body and see if I am really hungry or just "bored".

This morning I got on my scale and it said 263. WHAT?!?!?!?!? I can't believe it.  I am still only gaining weight when I work out.  I HATE IT!!!  But I am just going to keep going and try not to eat so much.

Anyway, on a better note.  I got this app on my kindle called Lose It!  It tracks my food and how many calories I should eat in order to lose 2 pounds per week.  I input my food and exercise and it tells me where I am for the day.  I love it.

I didn't get a chance to workout today and my stomach has been hurting on and off.

I got On the Treadmill

I am really trying to find lots of motivation.
I just got a thought in my head.

I LOST 50lbs in 1 Year!!!

I can hardly believe it.  Seriously, how many people that you know can say that.  I was thinking, "I am so bummed I only lost 50lbs in a year instead of the 100 that wanted."  But no more of that.  I want to think positive.  This last year in the past.  I am going forward.

I got on the treadmill today!  I am so excited about that.  I get a newsletter from HLB Newsletter.  You can sign up yourself to get the newsletter.  But anyway, back to topic.  On her first newsletter she included a link to download 6 free workout songs.  So I got that and I used the music to workout.  It was so motivating.  I ran for over 3 minutes which I have never done.  AWESOME!!  I also did another run of two minutes.  I am gonna use some of that music for the future.  I was able to ignore all my fatigues and just kept going.

I found this today and I wanted to share.

And with that I will bid you good night.

At School

If you follow me on facebook you already know that I had some Jamba Juice for breakfast.  Yummy, it was a cold blaster of 260 calories.  Orange, peach and banana with Vitamin C.  I think my allergies are kicking in.  Anyway, I made it through one class already.  I am waiting for my other to start.  I can't go there until it's time because there is no place to sit or chill there.  So I am sitting in the cafeteria.  I am just observing a girl sitting near me.  She is real skinny and she is enjoying a big basket of french fries and Dr. Pepper.  I know it's bad to compare myself but if I ate that I would have to fight to the death to lose it.  I wish my body would function better.  Anyway, I better go use the bathroom before this class.  Laters.

2nd Term Starts tomorrow

Hello Everyone,
  These last few days have been really rocky for me.  I do real good until my eyes feast on something yummy and bad for me.  I try to hold out at much as possible and then I give in.  But I am slowly trying to work around myself and the goals I am setting that I know I can accomplish.
  Sherah found a fun thing I am gonna do.  Put a stone or rock into the jar for every pound you have lost.  I am gonna do that.  It seems like to much fun.
 As you may have noticed, I am starting school again tomorrow.  I am getting excited to learn my fun things about kids again, so I'm gonna.  Anyway, I am also excited to have some free time to workout and work on making healthy meals and snacks for myself.  My brother is coming to visit in 3 weeks and I want to lose as much weight as possible before he comes. Wish me luck.

Happy New Year

I am being so bad at blogging.  Guess what I got myself...

Yep, that's a kindle.  I expect this thing to help me be more motivated. I didn't get anything real special I wanted for Christmas except for a huge monetary gift (you know who you are).  So I bought myself this with that.  At first I was going through it and didn't like it...but the more I explored the more I realized I really do like it.
And I also got this in the mail today.

It's an awake light to help me wake up in the morning.  Since we barely get any sun in the winter here it's hard to stay happy and energized.  But this like is supposed to help me with that.  I can set the alarm clock to go off when it is time for me to wake up.  This will totally help me when I need to get up for school.  SO YAY!!  I have it on right now.  It's supposed to boost my mood and give you sunshine without the Vitamin D.  I got so many goodies in the mail today.  I got myself that cookbook my mom had when I was growing up...though the cover doesn't look the same I hope it's the same recipes...I will have to check with my mom. Also I got this prevention day calendar to help me be more motivated to do what I need to.

So that's enough about some goodies I got.
You may also be wondering how it's going...My one goal I am making this year is this -
I want to be self-disciplined to reach my goals.
How I get there is another story but I am taking one day at a time and not pushing myself.  I am starting school again on Monday and I am so excited to get back there and have a purpose for something.